How do people keep their faith in love and friendship when they get hurt?

What has being rejected and abandoned taught you?

It’s natural to want deep and reliable connections, but sometimes we feel better off alone.

If you’ve been hurt over and over again, it may feel like relationships are unsafe for you.

Maybe you don’t feel worthy of care from others.

Maybe people seem selfish and untrustworthy. 

So how do people keep their faith in love and friendship when they get hurt?

To heal, we need the opportunity to do three things:

• Grieve: Feel what we need to before we can move forwards.

• Process Trauma: Understand what happened and why to feel safe again.

• Learn: Recognise patterns and grow to protect yourself and find better. 

Some people get the opportunity to complete those three tasks on their own after being rejected. 

They have the time and coping skills they need to grieve the loss of their relationship and the future they imagined.

They have insightful and understanding friends and family who can help them learn from their relationships and confront their fears to move forwards.

They haven’t experienced overwhelmingly unsafe or painful relationships or rejection, so they can comfortably reflect on their experiences to grow. 

Others haven’t been so lucky. 

Most of us were taught unhelpful lessons about how to handle our emotions that make it harder to grieve and understand our pain. 

Multiple experiences being rejected can lead to distrust and make us isolated, robbing us of the support we need to heal and face our fears.

A traumatic childhood can make all rejection experiences too upsetting to process alone.

We always learn from our experiences.

The question is: Did have the chance to learn lessons that helped us heal or did we learn to fear rejection even more?

If you feel like each experience with rejection has left you more vulnerable, uncertain, and afraid, you deserve to get out of the vicious cycle of pain and fear. 

Get in touch with me to share what you’ve experienced. Let’s work together to help you restore your confidence and find the relationships you deserve. 

Warmly,

Cory Madison, M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed.

Mental Health Therapist

The above is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should not replace consultation with a medical professional. The above is my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person. All examples are hypothetical amalgams, not involving actual people.